For the past couple of months i have been thinking that how come a person like me is always angry or upset or irritated. I mean this is not me. I have always been known as a girl who talk less always respectful and doesn’t indulge in discussions. At least this is what my mom used to say about me. Now after working for good about 8 years i have become aggressive, loud, irresponsible and to top it off  Arrogant.

I have been wondering where did i go wrong? apparently no where. I mean I got supportive parents, loving husband, darling siblings and Job security. Then why Am I always angry, agitated? What is the reason that my temper shots up in 3 seconds what is the reason that i m always in hurry let it be driving or eating or reading! Whats the rush? Why have I become a total stranger to myself?

Answer: Forgot to Love myself. Forgot to take time out for myself. Forgot Me.

Yes, it took a while to know all this. but now its like that I always knew the answer, but don’t know why i always avoided it.

I used to be a nice loving girl. That was because I had all the time for myself. I as a teen had a very hectic routine. first college, then library, then home, chores, dinner, reading, and then my all time favourite Sleeping. I don’t remember a day when I have not read a book or did something just for myself. I m a bad bad cook but it was my weekly routine to bake something, or cook something. I still remember and cherish all the mistakes that I made during my time in kitchen. I used to buy books in bulk. and if I m in luck and got a book of my favourite author Iwont rest till the time i ave finished it. God! how I used to love all that. Oh ya how can I forget, squash!! Man I used to love that game. No matter how tired I m it’s not evening for me if I have not played a match with my friends. Come summers and all I would be waiting for the evening to hit the Pool. WOW I can feel the splash of water across my face. I m no more all this…

It is sad. It is ironic. From easy-going to a control freak, I have become a stingy woman! Stingy about what to do and how to do. Not only that im making my life complicated im also making it impossible for others to understand me or worse come close to me.

so to start with i will time to smell flowers ( i read this line some where) Yes. I will take time out for me. Just Me. I will Love my self because my husband wont do it for me

Guess what? Just by writing it all i feel good. I will keep my self updated by posting my tiny winy change in attitude over here. So that tomorrow when I will read it I might enjoy my transformation.