Archive for April, 2010

On Road Of Change….

For the past couple of months i have been thinking that how come a person like me is always angry or upset or irritated. I mean this is not me. I have always been known as a girl who talk less always respectful and doesn’t indulge in discussions. At least this is what my mom used to say about me. Now after working for good about 8 years i have become aggressive, loud, irresponsible and to top it off  Arrogant.

I have been wondering where did i go wrong? apparently no where. I mean I got supportive parents, loving husband, darling siblings and Job security. Then why Am I always angry, agitated? What is the reason that my temper shots up in 3 seconds what is the reason that i m always in hurry let it be driving or eating or reading! Whats the rush? Why have I become a total stranger to myself?

Answer: Forgot to Love myself. Forgot to take time out for myself. Forgot Me.

Yes, it took a while to know all this. but now its like that I always knew the answer, but don’t know why i always avoided it.

I used to be a nice loving girl. That was because I had all the time for myself. I as a teen had a very hectic routine. first college, then library, then home, chores, dinner, reading, and then my all time favourite Sleeping. I don’t remember a day when I have not read a book or did something just for myself. I m a bad bad cook but it was my weekly routine to bake something, or cook something. I still remember and cherish all the mistakes that I made during my time in kitchen. I used to buy books in bulk. and if I m in luck and got a book of my favourite author Iwont rest till the time i ave finished it. God! how I used to love all that. Oh ya how can I forget, squash!! Man I used to love that game. No matter how tired I m it’s not evening for me if I have not played a match with my friends. Come summers and all I would be waiting for the evening to hit the Pool. WOW I can feel the splash of water across my face. I m no more all this…

It is sad. It is ironic. From easy-going to a control freak, I have become a stingy woman! Stingy about what to do and how to do. Not only that im making my life complicated im also making it impossible for others to understand me or worse come close to me.

so to start with i will time to smell flowers ( i read this line some where) Yes. I will take time out for me. Just Me. I will Love my self because my husband wont do it for me

Guess what? Just by writing it all i feel good. I will keep my self updated by posting my tiny winy change in attitude over here. So that tomorrow when I will read it I might enjoy my transformation.

To Blog or Not To

When last night I asked my husband what is Blog? he, dare I say, with juvenile enthusiasm explained the weblog, its history,  its evolution from scratch till 26th April 2010. Being an avid day-dreamer, I saw myself frivolously typing about food, movies, places, people and everything that exist in this world and more importantly about which I ave faintest idea. I was simply typing not because I m good at typing but I have to do as if the very existence of human race is depending upon it. I saw myself posting articles, reviews of books, of movies, of video games of recipes about my latest dine out. what I cook?? how I cook? what it tastes like? I was so busy that I started to sweat or at least I felt like it…..

Sigh…. I guess all this showed in my eyes. My eyes, very easily gave away that, “madam is in trance” So what I heard while I was busy saving the very existence of human race, was “DON’T MAKE IT  AN OBSESSION”. He kept on repeating till I came back to this very world. Which, by the way, is way too painful to explain. if you know what I mean.

Although I hate to fight with my Husband, but I cant live without doing the honors. So there go ONE solid hour in defending something that I was yet to start. In the end, he won!! Yes Ladies and Gentlemen, HE WON. Crucifying something which was not even there in the first place. But he won. So with this Win-Win scenario, we woke up in the morning we left for our offices happily!!

And here i a m blogging for the very first time. YIPPEE

Now when i m actually blogging or lets say started to my mind has gone blank. Hmmm…. Interesting i think its Writer’s block. Imagine its hardly one blog that too, incomplete and I fancy such terms.

Anyways, coming to questions like Do i want to blog? or why i want to blog? well for obvious reason I want to speak, without being interrupted. Yes, indeed! The latest trend introduced by the talk shows. If you can interrupt or if you ll speak louder than others or if you wont let the other person speak then congratulations You are honest to God, Righteous, Pure at heart etc etc Man. The other guy the one who waited for you to finish or you can say never got the chance to finish his argument is worthless crap and should be send to hell. So thank you blog for re-introducing Speak One at a Time Concept.

My second reason is I LOVE writing. I write because I aspire to be a complete person.

Last but not Least I am a Banker’s Wife and trust me i can devote 2 blogs on this and once im through it will no longer be called blogging rather Nagging.

So here Im Happy for my Blog without thinking if any one give it a worth reading. I m just Happy. I can’t wait to share this with my husband. you know what he will be so excited and would not be sitting without reading it. OK I exaggerated. But all i know is he will smile and shake his head. Now this is the reason i have married this guy!!